And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives

And Baby Makes Three The Six Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives Having a baby is a joyous experience but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio Lack of sleep never ending housework and new fiscal concerns often lead to c

  • Title: And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives
  • Author: John M. Gottman Julie Schwartz Gottman
  • ISBN: 9781400097371
  • Page: 417
  • Format: Hardcover
  • And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives

    Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio Lack of sleep, never ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings In And Baby Makes Three Love Lab TM experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successfuHaving a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio Lack of sleep, never ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings In And Baby Makes Three Love Lab TM experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by maintaining intimacy and romance replacing a culture of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation preventing post partum depression creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby Complete with exercises that separate the master from the disaster couples, And Baby Makes Three helps new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy.

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      Posted by:John M. Gottman Julie Schwartz Gottman
      Published :2018-08-23T00:37:05+00:00

    One thought on “And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives

    1. Erika RS

      A baby puts stress on a relationship. How well a couple weathers that stress is important both for the health of that relationship and on the longer term happiness and well being of the baby. The affects are both direct and indirect: stress can lead directly to distress in everyone in the family, and it can also lead to eventual divorce and the negative consequences of that.This book takes a practical and concrete approach to helping couples handle the changes that a new baby brings. Unlike much [...]

    2. Julia Murtha

      This book came highly recommended from my early childhood teacher. The idea and concept of the book is excellent as most people experience difficulty in maintaining their relationship after bringing home a baby. The author does a great job of outlining basic ways to get and stay connected to your partner. The disappointing part of the book is that the author provided examples of partners that held very traditional roles-- father works and is hands off and mother is the main caregiver. Also, he a [...]

    3. Jessica

      "When we savor each other, our abies rest in the cradle of our contentment". -John GottmanI thought this was a great book, that gives great tips on how to preserve intimacy and romance after baby comes. I also read John Gottman's Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and found a lot of the same information and tools in this book as he used in that book. I love Gottman's idea of Love Maps. As with any Marriage book you take what you like and leave what you don't. There are some things in the [...]

    4. Art

      "Small things often"- this is the advice the Gottmans give to couples to help their marital relationship survive and develop further after a new baby arrives. I especially appreciated their tips on making arguments/disagreements more respectful, tips like: give compliments, make light jokes, and listen to feelings during arguments. Restate your spouses' position before giving your own. Compromise, don't overgeneralize. This is real practical advice, and there's years of research behind what he's [...]

    5. Michael De Paola

      Coming up on the halfway mark some good ideas, but too much of a rehash of earlier books.Early on this book starts out as a condemnation that if you're not always acting on the best behavior in front of your spouse during pregnancy that your children will have all sorts of development problems. The evidence is okay, but not completely damming. Either way though, real life gets in the way and it didn't seem to offer many solutions. The second half of this book was much better than the first. I pa [...]

    6. Ayeshah

      The book is great, and I am a big fan of Dr Gottman's work but GOD so much emotional correctness! I don't believe in all that sharing and talking about childhood and stuff! it can backfire AND seriously! if a couple can spend hours doing "exercises" to improve their relationship I suggest they better go out and have one!!! So annoying! so far Susan Page is my all time favorite author when it come sto relationship

    7. Tricia

      Brian and I took turns reading this out loud. It was slow-going, but worth the effort. If you've read other Gottman material, you'll definitely notice some repeated material. The exercises and discussion prompts were the most valuable aspects of the book, since we don't normally ponder matters such as the dreams behind our mundane wishes or how we hope to instill a family legacy. The book also encouraged good, frank discussion about our fears and sex and family history.

    8. Lori Ben-ezra

      If you've read other books by the Gottmans, then you've already read most of this book. It's basically reiterating their research and clinical theories, with a few extra chapters on how this applies to couples expecting their first child or new parents. There's great information presented in the book, just don't expect any new information if you're familiar with their work.

    9. Melissa

      Quotes:It is very human to be much more forgiving of ourselves than our partners. Psychologist Fritz Heider called this “the fundamental attribution error.” Translated, it means that it’s human nature to think, “I’m OK; you’re defective,” and it leads to “I’m right; you’re wrong.”ither party in a dispute be able to persuade the other party they were right until they could state the opposition’s point of view to their satisfaction.We need to be able to state our version of [...]

    10. Maggie Athridge

      This was a pretty good book - I think its less useful for people who have been married a while or already have good communications strategies in the relationship. I think it would have been more helpful if we had had our baby in the first few years we were married - the strategies they discuss are solid and well researched and I know people who would probably benefit from the book it just wasn't personally that useful.

    11. Cristina

      I liked this book as it opens your eyes on the importance of communication, common values, team work, sexual life and past heritage and how all come together and even surface when a baby comes. I really appreciate the exercises after each chapter and loved the most the practical advice.It landed good with me as I read it when I was pregnant and took me away from baby books and anchored me also into the importance of the love and wellbeing of the couple that brings the baby to this world.

    12. 7etiana

      Насправді в книзі аж два чи три розділи присвячені питанню дітей і їх впливу на стосунки пари. В цілому це дуже корисний інструмент, керівництво, назвіть як хочете, для роботи над собою, стосунками, своєю сім‘єю. Адже жили вони довго і щасливо тільки у казках, в реальному ж ж [...]

    13. Elizabeth

      While I find the conjoint therapy philosophy and suggestions relevant and helpful, the writing itself (with typos!) really weakened their credibility. Further, the exercises were the most valuable components; whereas, the example vignettes seemed insincere and contrived. Overall, the thesis proves valuable: the more satisfied the couple, the happier the baby.

    14. Allison

      Good reference for couples dealing with the new stress of a baby.I haven't read any other Gottman, but am familiar with his work, and I did wonder how much of the tips were just repetitive from general marriage wisdom he offers elsewhere? Definitely some stuff specific to baby, but other things (the four horseman) less so.

    15. Dray

      Three stars because I did "like it," but it didn't change my world or anything. I'll try some of the activities with my husband. I guess I wish it had been *more* about baby + marriage rather than marriage on its own.

    16. Felicia

      Good application of Gottman methods to the transition of parenthood. This is aimed at fairly traditional heterosexual couples, however, and I wish that the Gottmans would be more inclusive in their writings.

    17. Robin

      I wish I had read this while pregnant instead of finding it when my son was already 9 months old. This book was a game changer for how we approached being a couple and a family.

    18. Sara

      This was a really great and practical book around how keep things strong in a relationship after the birth of a baby. Would highly recommend.

    19. Kirsten

      This book should really be called, "How to Not Get Divorced," although that title's not very catchy. Basically, relationship satisfaction rates plummet after couples have babies. The Gottmans endeavored to find out why, and more importantly, to find out exactly what the successful couples were doing that had them stay married and satisfied with their relationships. What I liked about this book is the same as what several people said when recommending it to me. The authors don't have some vague i [...]

    20. April

      I went to the library to get a different book by the same author and happened to see this title. Even though in our case, it's "And Bab[ies:] Make [Four:]," I still found it's principles to be applicable :-) I would like to see, though, a book written specifically for parents of multiples. I think it would be helpful to realize that we weren't/aren't the only ones that have a very stressful time with the new babies and experience quite a bit of strain that they put on a marriage. He is honest ab [...]

    21. Tracy

      This book helps new parents understand that the marriage relationship is more important than ever when couples have their first child. With the many more demands on time and energy that a baby brings, couples must be more intentional about protecting their marriage and not letting their relationship with the baby crowd it out. Rather, the baby can help to grow it even stronger, though not without hard work. Several times, this book reminds us that the greatest gift we can give our child is a lov [...]

    22. Alice Chau-Ginguene

      It's a reasonably good book with lots of great idea. However I can't give it 5 stars because of the following:1. As a postpartum doula, I find it very difficult to see the new parents have time to read this book and do all the exercise in the book.2. This book probably needs huge updating. The gender stereotype is getting a bit annoying. Fathers in this book is always the one who got upset that the baby got into the way. The mother seems to be always a stay at home mum. How about stay at home da [...]

    23. Chris

      Well, here we go!! My first parenting book. My daughter is on the way and will arrive July 09. This book does a good job of pointing out how to maintain the strengths in your marriage a time of great upheaval--the arrival of this ubiquitous and demanding little creature. At times, the book resorts to laundry lists of things to consider, which can be overwhelming. And it also offer exercises in communication for spouses. My wife and I have tried a few and they do inspire interesting and sometimes [...]

    24. Shannie

      I LOVE this book! This is a good book for even couples who are not expecting. Gottman is one of the top researchers in his field and this is full of gems of knowledge. The one disclaimer I will make is that he needed to clarify what he meant by masturbation being ok in a marriage. I say this because I know there are many studies out there that show the damage pornography can have on a healthy relationship. I believe he did not mean the use of porn or (forgive me) playing with ones self. I think [...]

    25. Matt Hartzell

      I thought that this book had a lot of good information. However, after reading a number of marriage and relationship books, they are all starting to run together. I'm starting to find less unique information in each one. I think that the best chapters in this book were the one about delighting in your baby as a couple, and the ending chapter about the longterm vision, values, and culture of your family.I don't think this book was bad by any means, but I had hoped that that baby played a bigger r [...]

    26. Rhett

      If you've never read Gottman and you have any interest in human psychology and interaction then you have got to read Gottman. The principles and ideas he goes over in the book are not fundamentally much different than his other books but it was a interesting and wonderful reminder of those principles and did have some new gems in there as well. At the end of the day I do think that after reading this I will be a better father and husband. Too bad I did not read it earlier, great book. (there are [...]

    27. missy jean

      If you know me you know I'm not usually a fan of parenting/relationships books but I make an exception for Mr. Gottman. He's a brilliant scientist and his books are packed with research-based ideas for improving family relationships. In this book, Gottman talks about statistics that 2/3 of people experience a marked decrease in marital satisfaction within a few years of having a baby. Why does this happen, and what are the long-term impacts on the baby's development and family longevity? Gottman [...]

    28. Natalie Valenzuela

      John Gottman has great advice for relationships that need a lot of work to rid themselves of the "four horsemen." However, for those of us that are not struggling that much in our marriages, his words are a great reminder. There are also chapters in this book on baby's development, creating a legacy, and sex after baby which would be a beneficial read to anyone having their first baby. My advice don't read this one from cover to cover if you don't feel the need to. Select the chapters you're mos [...]

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